God, I hope so. That's not to say that I am a real catholic men yet, but I'm striving. And as I strive, the growing pains hurt. They hurt in my head, heart and soul. I keep hearing that I'll come out better for it on the other side. I'm not sure I want to "come out better for it" if it means enduring what I endure.
I think of Our Lord's Passion. The Agony in the Garden. "Let this cup pass from me," Christ pleaded... "but not my will, but thy will be done." Placing your fate in God's hands doesn't make the process any less bitter. In fact, it makes it more painful, because you have to have the faith to give it all up to someone, and something, that you have never "seen".
"My God, my God, why have you forsakes/abandoned me?" Boy, this is one that I say to myself on a daily basis. Like Christ, I know that He hasn't, really - but it sure feels that way.
We do "our best". We sacrifice. We pray. We attend Mass. We participate in the other Sacraments, but we feel separated from our God. Why? Is it a dessert time? A time of purification? I don't know, and at times I don't care. I just want it to end. And when it doesn't seem like it will... like the dessert stretches on forever -
I suppose if it's good enough for Him, it's good enough for me.
But still I ask that the cup pass from me - because I am human.