You may have noticed that I haven't been blogging for a while. Well, there are a number of good reasons for that.
First and foremost are the 4 ER visits and 3 hospital stays my wife (and I) endured this month. We even had to resort to having my mother coming out from Arizona (God bless her) to help out for a week so I could actually go to work. You see, I had used up ALL my sick time taking care of her and the kids since January.
I have also been solely responsible for launch a huge project at work which called me to work 13-hour days - all while my wife was in enormous pain. We've had to call on friends to take shifts in watching the kids, picking up my oldest daughter from Kindergarten, bringing us food and just keeping our heads above water.
Our faith community has been a literal God-send. But that doesn't make the stress any less. It was during this time that we also decided to have our daughter go to a different Catholic school for the 1st Grade next year. It's much closer, but not a place we have been too involved in... and not a place where we have a community (yet).
Oh, and don't forget I'm also in the final weeks of planning the men's conference - and ticket sales have been WAY down.
I can barely bring myself to pray...and when I do, it seems to come out as simple begging for the stress and strain to stop. I just want it to end.
Why?
Because I have not spiritually armed myself well enough to handle such periods with grace and fortitude. I really thought that this was the time I was going to crack under the pressure and make a reservation in a little padded room.
There's other stuff too, but I won't go into it here.
The devil is trying to get me down. And he's done a pretty good job of it so far. I need help. We all need help.
My scripture reading and prayer time has vanished. I just want to sleep. I just want the kids to be quiet. I just want to go away.
But I know I have been called. And I cannot turn away. Because it was the Master who called His servant.
"Speak, O Lord. Your servant is listening."
Unfortunately, I'm too busy begging for it all to stop to listen.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Are You Ready For More Catholic Bashing?
Reports today state that Mel Gibson's wife, Robyn, has filed for divorce.
As "the face" of Catholicism to most people, this tragic event in the life of the Gibson family will be just the foder the anti-Catholic community has been looking for.
Hold firm. Show love and forgiveness.
And most of all - be prepared to defend yourselves.
And, of course, pray for them.
As "the face" of Catholicism to most people, this tragic event in the life of the Gibson family will be just the foder the anti-Catholic community has been looking for.
Hold firm. Show love and forgiveness.
And most of all - be prepared to defend yourselves.
And, of course, pray for them.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Fail, Therefore I Am
Living your faith raises the bar.
It's like setting the high-jump to 12'. God's pretty sure you're not going to make it over, but the plan is for each of us to work hard every day and give it our best shot.
That's how I've been feeling lately.
When I set out to do the Real Catholic Men conference and the associated ministry, I knew I'd be putting a sort of target on my back. Who the heck was I to be taking on this role? What would people think of me if I stumbled and fell for all to see? Would the people of faith afford me the forgiveness and understanding that I need when I fall?
Well, I'm here to tell you that I am human, and that I have been having a hard time lately.
Like many men, there is something in (or around) my heart that is not letting Jesus fully inside. Either that, or that there is so much garbage in there that there is no room for Him. My faith has taken up residence in my mind, but not in my soul. Christ continues to live in the fringe and not at the center of my life. I am trying - don't get me wrong - and I will not give up. But it's difficult.
The relationship that I have with God is much like it is with my wife. She is a saint to put up with me. And I'm sure all of us who are married can pretty much say the same thing. We can be a real pain in the butt. Lately, I have been a HUGE one.
And while I truly love my wife, there are times that I treat her horribly. She deserves better. But I seem to not be able to let her all the way inside my heart, and anger is usually the easiest way to keep her out.
I know my faith and I (for the most part) live my faith, but I am having hard time feeling my faith. I read and pray and confess and pray some more, but the wall is still up.
I have recently found a new spiritual director who I hope will take me further in my understanding of why I am who I am. I am a sinful man, trying to leave that person further behind each and every day - only the distance is not increasing.
This is a life-long endeavor. I will work on it every day until I die. God willing, in end I'll have been made worthy to hear those words: "Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done."
Pray for me as I do for all of you.
It's like setting the high-jump to 12'. God's pretty sure you're not going to make it over, but the plan is for each of us to work hard every day and give it our best shot.
That's how I've been feeling lately.
When I set out to do the Real Catholic Men conference and the associated ministry, I knew I'd be putting a sort of target on my back. Who the heck was I to be taking on this role? What would people think of me if I stumbled and fell for all to see? Would the people of faith afford me the forgiveness and understanding that I need when I fall?
Well, I'm here to tell you that I am human, and that I have been having a hard time lately.
Like many men, there is something in (or around) my heart that is not letting Jesus fully inside. Either that, or that there is so much garbage in there that there is no room for Him. My faith has taken up residence in my mind, but not in my soul. Christ continues to live in the fringe and not at the center of my life. I am trying - don't get me wrong - and I will not give up. But it's difficult.
The relationship that I have with God is much like it is with my wife. She is a saint to put up with me. And I'm sure all of us who are married can pretty much say the same thing. We can be a real pain in the butt. Lately, I have been a HUGE one.
And while I truly love my wife, there are times that I treat her horribly. She deserves better. But I seem to not be able to let her all the way inside my heart, and anger is usually the easiest way to keep her out.
I know my faith and I (for the most part) live my faith, but I am having hard time feeling my faith. I read and pray and confess and pray some more, but the wall is still up.
I have recently found a new spiritual director who I hope will take me further in my understanding of why I am who I am. I am a sinful man, trying to leave that person further behind each and every day - only the distance is not increasing.
This is a life-long endeavor. I will work on it every day until I die. God willing, in end I'll have been made worthy to hear those words: "Well done, good and faithful servant. Well done."
Pray for me as I do for all of you.
Friday, March 13, 2009
How Low Can We Go?
I've never been a fan of horror movies. Neither in my past life as one who consumed movies like candy - nor in my current one where me watching a movie is about as common as lunar eclipse.
I do, however, watch an occasional television program, so I see the ads for what is coming out in the theaters.
The influx of disgusting, over-the-top, slasher flics like "Hostel," the "Saw" series and the like, make me wonder what the world is coming to.
Recently I saw an ad for a movie called "The Last House on The Left." I remember when the first version came to cable in the early 1970's. I could not recall what it was about, so when MSN posted a "review" (and I use that term loosely) for the film, I decided to see what they had to say about such a revolting indulgence.
It was while reading this review (which was more of a review for the previous incarnations) that I came a cross a phrase I had never heard before. It was a phrase used to refer to movies such as this and the ones I mentioned earlier. The phrase was: "torture-porn."
Now, while the phrase alone should make anyone with a soul cringe, it was the apparent "throw away" usage of the word that hit me the hardest.
Shouldn't this phrase, and the movies it represents, absolutely infuriate every single living, breathing human being? Is anyone out there actually "pro torture-porn?"
As a matter of fact, the reviewer is woman. Does she feel nothing when she sees the portayal of women as nothing more than magnets for sex and violence? Does a paycheck make her numb?
How much lower can we go when "torture-porn" is synonymous with "entertainment?"
The word "repent" has no better application than for those who create, fund and promote such destructive content.
In this Lenten season, pray for these people. Their desert is vast and wide, and they are giving into the tempations of the Evil One.
Repent and believe in the Gosepl.
I do, however, watch an occasional television program, so I see the ads for what is coming out in the theaters.
The influx of disgusting, over-the-top, slasher flics like "Hostel," the "Saw" series and the like, make me wonder what the world is coming to.
Recently I saw an ad for a movie called "The Last House on The Left." I remember when the first version came to cable in the early 1970's. I could not recall what it was about, so when MSN posted a "review" (and I use that term loosely) for the film, I decided to see what they had to say about such a revolting indulgence.
It was while reading this review (which was more of a review for the previous incarnations) that I came a cross a phrase I had never heard before. It was a phrase used to refer to movies such as this and the ones I mentioned earlier. The phrase was: "torture-porn."
Now, while the phrase alone should make anyone with a soul cringe, it was the apparent "throw away" usage of the word that hit me the hardest.
Shouldn't this phrase, and the movies it represents, absolutely infuriate every single living, breathing human being? Is anyone out there actually "pro torture-porn?"
As a matter of fact, the reviewer is woman. Does she feel nothing when she sees the portayal of women as nothing more than magnets for sex and violence? Does a paycheck make her numb?
How much lower can we go when "torture-porn" is synonymous with "entertainment?"
The word "repent" has no better application than for those who create, fund and promote such destructive content.
In this Lenten season, pray for these people. Their desert is vast and wide, and they are giving into the tempations of the Evil One.
Repent and believe in the Gosepl.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Listen to the Cross
History tells us that St. Francis of Assisi - while praying in front of the crucifix - heard Jesus say to him three times, "Francis, go and repair My house, which you see is falling down."
Francis thought He meant the physical structure he was praying in, and set out fix the church brick by brick. It was later revealed that the crucified Christ was referring to the state of The Church and her people.
But the question I pose today is this: Does the cross still speak to us today? And more than just the simple symbol of the cross - but the glory of the crucifix.
Yes, there is glory in the pain and anguish of the crucifix. There are lessons to be learned by each of us. Whether it be of suffering, service, denying yourself, or sacrifice - or all of the above.
One night in prayer, I asked Jesus about His agony in carrying the cross through the city streets on His way to Calvary. My specific question was, "When you were carrying the cross, were you trying to get to the mountain as quickly as possible so that you could fulfill your destiny, or were you so scared that you were goining as slowly as you could to delay this pain?"
And Jesus answered me. He told me, "I walked just fast enough so they wouldn't beat me any more."
A glorious answer from the God-Man. So divine and so human.
He may not have exactly spoken to me from the cross, but his passion, death and resurrection speak to us every day. Sit in front of the crucifix and listen to what Jesus has to say to you. He has a message that He wants you to hear. A message just for you - his precious child.
Come to Him as a child. Sit at His feet and listen to the Master. There are words of wisdom, love and life from the King of Kings!
Embrace the Cross!
Francis thought He meant the physical structure he was praying in, and set out fix the church brick by brick. It was later revealed that the crucified Christ was referring to the state of The Church and her people.
But the question I pose today is this: Does the cross still speak to us today? And more than just the simple symbol of the cross - but the glory of the crucifix.
Yes, there is glory in the pain and anguish of the crucifix. There are lessons to be learned by each of us. Whether it be of suffering, service, denying yourself, or sacrifice - or all of the above.
One night in prayer, I asked Jesus about His agony in carrying the cross through the city streets on His way to Calvary. My specific question was, "When you were carrying the cross, were you trying to get to the mountain as quickly as possible so that you could fulfill your destiny, or were you so scared that you were goining as slowly as you could to delay this pain?"
And Jesus answered me. He told me, "I walked just fast enough so they wouldn't beat me any more."
A glorious answer from the God-Man. So divine and so human.
He may not have exactly spoken to me from the cross, but his passion, death and resurrection speak to us every day. Sit in front of the crucifix and listen to what Jesus has to say to you. He has a message that He wants you to hear. A message just for you - his precious child.
Come to Him as a child. Sit at His feet and listen to the Master. There are words of wisdom, love and life from the King of Kings!
Embrace the Cross!
Monday, February 23, 2009
And the Loser Is...
Last night I watched a bit of the Academy Awards. Not a lot - but enough.
For those of you who don't know, I spent 12 years in film and television production, and more than a few of those in Los Angeles. I was on the road to working in "The Biz" for the rest of my life when my morals and ethics got in the way. Just kidding.
My dream was to write an award winning screenplay and be in just such an audience as there was last night at the Kodak Theater. Believe me - I've done the mock acceptance speech thing a number of times.
Over the last 4-5 years, I have pretty much completely separated myself from that industry and all other pointless pursuits. I have no desire at all to go back there. To "rub elbows" with the rich and famous.
So as I sat there last night, knowing full well that it was just a matter of time before someone made a political/social/religious statement that would make my blood boil. I hunkered down as they announced Sean Penn as Best Actor.
Mr. Penn attempted to wax eloquent about the shame that those who had voted for the ban on gay marriage would bring onto themselves and their grandchildren.
At least those who voted on the gay marriage ban WILL have grandchildren. Those who vote pro-life WILL procreate.
Mr. Penn needs to realize that he and his egocentric Hollywood hot-air blowers don't speak for America. And they certainly don't speak for true Catholic Christians.
While they may not believe that God exists, God certainly knows that they do. And He knows the lies they are spreading.
When Mr. Penn's time comes - and it will indeed come - I hope he understand that the path that he is headed down is nowhere near as enjoyable as a post-Oscar party at Spago's. And this place is for eternity.
Repent and believe in the Gospel.
For those of you who don't know, I spent 12 years in film and television production, and more than a few of those in Los Angeles. I was on the road to working in "The Biz" for the rest of my life when my morals and ethics got in the way. Just kidding.
My dream was to write an award winning screenplay and be in just such an audience as there was last night at the Kodak Theater. Believe me - I've done the mock acceptance speech thing a number of times.
Over the last 4-5 years, I have pretty much completely separated myself from that industry and all other pointless pursuits. I have no desire at all to go back there. To "rub elbows" with the rich and famous.
So as I sat there last night, knowing full well that it was just a matter of time before someone made a political/social/religious statement that would make my blood boil. I hunkered down as they announced Sean Penn as Best Actor.
Mr. Penn attempted to wax eloquent about the shame that those who had voted for the ban on gay marriage would bring onto themselves and their grandchildren.
At least those who voted on the gay marriage ban WILL have grandchildren. Those who vote pro-life WILL procreate.
Mr. Penn needs to realize that he and his egocentric Hollywood hot-air blowers don't speak for America. And they certainly don't speak for true Catholic Christians.
While they may not believe that God exists, God certainly knows that they do. And He knows the lies they are spreading.
When Mr. Penn's time comes - and it will indeed come - I hope he understand that the path that he is headed down is nowhere near as enjoyable as a post-Oscar party at Spago's. And this place is for eternity.
Repent and believe in the Gospel.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Comprehensive Stupidity
Here is a story from KGW here is Portland that I saw on the internet. I poste my response (below) on the site as well. Here is the story:
PORTLAND, Ore. -- A Grant High School teacher's sex education teacher is changing his curriculum after a controversial presentation he did hit YouTube.
Norman Scott's unorthodox method of teaching students about sex education involved wearing a pair of red underwear over his pants. He also put a condom on his head after blowing it up.
Scott has taught health and physical education for 33 years. He told The Oregonian it was the first time he's tried the teaching method and found it to be quite effective.
The district has told him to stop.
Here was my response:
Yes, STIs and AIDS are hilarious. While the STI rates among teens continue to rise, the public schools are still trying to sell what doesn't work. The largest increase in STIs are those that are spread by skin-to-skin contact - which "protection" does not protect against. Maybe the teachers should be educated before the students. Comprehensive sex ed is a complete failure. Good job PPS.
On this particular website, other readers can give your comment a "thumbs up" or a "thumbs down." Not surprisingly, I have currently received 19 "thumbs down" responses.
Rather than burying his head in a condom, he has been burying his head in the sand. How can "sex ed" teacher (more than likely, a P.E. or Science teacher who got wrangled into the job) so callously pass along this information. This is about the lives of our children. Not about the number of "hits" you get on YouTube.
Please pray for our kids who are being "taught" by the likes of Mr. Scott.
PORTLAND, Ore. -- A Grant High School teacher's sex education teacher is changing his curriculum after a controversial presentation he did hit YouTube.
Norman Scott's unorthodox method of teaching students about sex education involved wearing a pair of red underwear over his pants. He also put a condom on his head after blowing it up.
Scott has taught health and physical education for 33 years. He told The Oregonian it was the first time he's tried the teaching method and found it to be quite effective.
The district has told him to stop.
Here was my response:
Yes, STIs and AIDS are hilarious. While the STI rates among teens continue to rise, the public schools are still trying to sell what doesn't work. The largest increase in STIs are those that are spread by skin-to-skin contact - which "protection" does not protect against. Maybe the teachers should be educated before the students. Comprehensive sex ed is a complete failure. Good job PPS.
On this particular website, other readers can give your comment a "thumbs up" or a "thumbs down." Not surprisingly, I have currently received 19 "thumbs down" responses.
Rather than burying his head in a condom, he has been burying his head in the sand. How can "sex ed" teacher (more than likely, a P.E. or Science teacher who got wrangled into the job) so callously pass along this information. This is about the lives of our children. Not about the number of "hits" you get on YouTube.
Please pray for our kids who are being "taught" by the likes of Mr. Scott.
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